


And all was quiet

by saltyclovers



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Insanity, M/M, Marijuana, Medicinal Drug Use, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recreational Drug Use, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-05
Updated: 2016-11-05
Packaged: 2018-08-29 08:24:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8482465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saltyclovers/pseuds/saltyclovers
Summary: All you could hear was your ragged breathing as you awoke from the recurring nightmare. Your head was pounding,  ears ringing of screams as the voices started to come back. You killed them you know. It's all your fault. You're the reason they're dead. Taking a few deep breaths, you grab a bottle of whiskey from the nightstand. It doesn't take you long to reach the bottom of it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Comment below if you have ideas for more fics, you can also send an ask to self-destructing-meka.tumblr.com/ask. Thanks!

All you could hear was your ragged breathing as you awoke from the recurring nightmare. Your head was pounding, ears ringing of screams as the voices started to come back. You killed them you know. It's all your fault. You're the reason they're dead. Taking a few deep breaths, you grab a bottle of whiskey from the nightstand. It doesn't take you long to reach the bottom of it.

Your eyes blearily blink open at the sound of a door shutting, looking around in the dimly lit room you notice a familiar figure. Course Mako came over, probably texted and called. 

"You're drunk." The man grunts out, glancing over your thin, wiry frame. No shit you're drunk. It occurred to you that perhaps talking aloud would help.

"So what, mate?" Your words slur together, curling up just a little more under the worn blanket. Mako sighs, moving to sit down onto your bed. The frame creaks under his weight, the mattress sagging to roll you closer to him. 

You feel a warm hand press against your forehead, then a quiet grunt. You lazily look up at him, quirking an eyebrow.

"Warm." Probably a fever. You sigh, batting his hand away with an annoyed grumble.

"Yeah 's cause 'm pretty fuckin' wasted 'eh mate, what a damn genius." Shit, that was a bit harsh. Luckily, Mako wasn't too surprised and simply shrugged. He moved to get up, leaving the room for a few minutes. Maybe an hour, honestly you couldn't tell. Nonetheless he does come back, setting a glass of water on the nightstand before sitting down.

"Up, now." He grumbles out, tugging on the front of your shirt. You try to sit up but almost immediately lean over to vomit into the bedside garbage can. He sighs, patting your back as you heave. 

You spit into the can, wiping at your eyes a little as you manage to prop yourself up on the headboard. Mako takes your hand, placing two pills into it. It takes a few minutes for you to realize what he wants you to do. You pop them in your mouth, shakily grabbing the water and swallowing them down.

The glass is set down again, leaving you to rest your head back against the wall. Time passes, leaving the two of you in silence as your migraine begins to worsen. After a good couple hours, Mako starts to talk again.

"Lighter."

You gesture to the nightstand where you keep the lighter. Mako gets up to grab it, walking over to your closet to grab out the small box marked 'meds' in red ink. You hold your hand out shakily to set it up but Mako grunts, sitting down and choosing to do it himself. You sigh and allow him, lazily watching over.

It doesn't take long for him to fill the chamber with just enough water, soon packing the pre-measured plant into the bowl. He lifts the bong for you to hold, you take it carefully. He flicks the lighter and carefully ignites the grass. You suck in the smoke, letting it sit in your lungs before breathing it out. A thin trail of smoke floats around while you take a few more hits. Eventually he does pull away the bong to start cleaning it up for future use.

It barely takes a few minutes before your headache melts away, you glance around. The voices had finally gone, you sighed and moved to lay down. Your eyes stung a bit but you could hardly care about the slight pain. Mako holds out his hand for you to hold, you reach up to take it. Honestly you couldn't quite find how to grip it, just grabbing at the air and laughing. 

Before long you're cackling, snorting and grinning widely. You finally felt safe, nothing mattered and it was okay. You couldn't be bothered by anything, except your growling stomach. Whining a bit as Mako moves his hand away to get up. As you try and follow, he gently pushes you back onto the bed. You somewhat get the picture and lays back down.

A few hours later...or minutes? He comes back with a bag of chips and some soda. You make grabby hands at the bag, snorting. The bag falls onto your face, you grunt and move to sit up and eat. 

"Slowly."

You huff but do slow down your ravenous eating, crumbs settling over the sheets. You hear a sigh and a grunt, then the bed dips a bit. Mako sits down, placing a hand on your thigh to get your attention.

"Better?"

You give a quick nod, tapping your throat a few times. He understands easily, opening a soda and handing it over. You mumble a 'thanks' before sipping at it. You carefully set it down, tossing the bad away. 

"C'mere." You mumble, laying down and opening out your arms. You're met with a breathy grunt and the rustling of him moving to lay down behind you. You're pushed forward a little, his arm wrapping around your waist to tug you close. A few minutes later and you were out like a light, and all was quiet.


	2. It All Went Wrong.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamison can't stop himself.

You were the first to wake up the next morning, glancing over to the alarm clock. It reads at '6:23' of course you wake up so early. Sighing quietly to yourself, you slowly nudge your way out of Mako's grasp. Despite the sudden lack of warmth, you move to stand and stretch a little before heading to the bathroom. Hopefully he wouldn't follow when he wakes. You quietly close the bathroom door behind yourself, gently pushing your back up into a corner.

Your hand twitches, trembling as you try to stop thinking. You can't let the voices make you do anything while Mako is here, he'll get worried. He can't know. You take a few deep breaths, trying to stop listening. Why don't you just do it already. You already know that you will, even if Hog is just a room over. You're shaking now, biting onto your bottom lip as you shakily reach up to the cabinet.

You fish out the familiar object, a clean pocket knife you'd had for years. You flick it open, the blade shines in the dim light. You take a few breaths, gripping the handle. You're already crying when it's brought down against your wrist.

They aren't as bad as you'd thought. A thin line of blood drips from the cut to the floor. Shit, you'd better clean it up. Sighing, the fresh cuts sting against the air as they slowly bleed. There's no point in hiding them, you bet Mako already knows. It doesn't take you long to clean up, a thin layer of bandages wrapped around the cuts. 

Sniffling a little, you manage to get up from the floor and head back to your room. He's still sleeping, snoring softly and mumbling nonsense. You wipe at your eyes a little more, nudging your way back into his arms and trying to hide against his large frame. You honestly don't want him to ever wake up.


	3. That's what matters.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You weren't able to get back to sleep.

You weren't able to get back to sleep, the dull pain of the healing cuts was enough to keep you up. Sighing, you press closer to him and just try to relax. He stirs a little, causing you to tense. Shit, he's awake. You swallow hard as Mako reaches a large hand to pat at your head.

 

"What is wrong?" You can feel the rumble of his voice, head pressed against his chest.

 

"Nothing." Bullshit. He knows something's up with you.

 

"Tell me, rat." There's no hiding now. You sniffle a little, holding up your wrist for him to look over. He gently holds your arm, peeking under the bandages to judge before sighing and setting your arm down. You immediately curl it back between the two of you.

 

"Are ya mad?" You manage to make out, the guilt thick in your throat.

 

"No." You know he is. You fucked up. This is your fault. You shift a little to sit up, going to stand but you're stopped. He tugs at the back of your shirt to prevent you from standing, getting up himself. Makon walks around the bed to face you, you don't dare look up at him.

 

"Rat, look at me." You can't. If you move you'll break down.

 

" _Jamison_." Shit he used your first name, he's really pissed off. You're absolutely fucked. He's probably going to kill you now. Yep, this is the end. Good bye cr-. Your thoughts are interrupted by a sudden hand tilting up your face.

 

Tears poke at your eyes, slowly dribbling down your cheeks as you glance up at him. He's studying you, kneeling down to meet your eyes. You hate it when he does this, being so nice and gentle that it makes you want to cry.

 

"I love you." The words ring in your ears, repeating over and over. His other hand is pressing into the small of your back, gently pulling you close. You just let it happen, slumping forward into his arms.

 

"Breathe." You didn't realize you had forgotten to, sucking in a large breath. He loves you. He _loves_ you. He's rubbing your back, hands gently working against your skin. It's too much. You can't handle it. Tears pour down your cheeks, trembling against him. You're so weak. He's so strong. You're disgusting. He's perfect.

 

Gradually, you begin to calm down to let him hold you. Your head aches, eyes stinging, yet you feel content. The only thing that matters is him. They way he breathes, the way he holds you close to his chest. The way he hums to calm you down.

 

You're happy right now and that's what matters.


End file.
